WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
The sun will rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
Remembering how I'd lay my head
In your lap that special way.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me.
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And petted me with her hand.
She said my place was ready,
In Heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But, as I turned to heel away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life I never thought
That I would have to die.
I had so much to live for,
So many sits and downs to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought about our lives together,
I know you must be sad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
Remember how I'd nudge your hand,
And poke you with my nose?
The frisbee I would gladly chase,
The bad guy, I'd "bark and hold".
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for awhile,
I'd wag my tail and kiss you,
Just so I could see you smile.
But, then I fully realized,
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Will take the place of me.
And when I thought of treats and toys,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My dog-heart filled with sorrow.
But then I walked through Heaven's gate,
And felt so much at home;
As God looked down and smiled at me,
From His beautiful golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity,
And now we welcome you,
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
For you see, each days's the same day,
There's no longing for the past.
Now you have been so faithful,
So trusting, loyal and true;
Though there were times you did things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But good dogs are forgiven,
And now at last you're free;
So won't you sit here by my side,
And wait right here with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there, in your heart.
Matt and I were able to just lay in bed all morning yesterday and reminisce about our boy. He was the center of our world. Everywhere we turn, a reminder of him pops up. His beds, his toys, his treats, food, dirty stuffed animals, water dish, etc... Definitely the most difficult thing I've been through yet.
For those who want to know the details, Whiskey went into respiratory arrest early yesterday morning around 4. The doctor called and said he had to be intubated and had copious secretions in his lungs. As she was speaking to me, he went into cardiac arrest and required CPR. I told her to stop. I couldn't bear the idea of him getting CPR or being uncomfortable any longer. It wasn't necessary. He wasn't going to make it.
We immediately drove out to Kirkland to see him. It was incredibly heartbreaking to see him wheeled in on a table. He reminded me of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, when Aslan is lying on the concrete slab. He was at peace. He was so soft and warm. We just hugged and kissed him, and loved on our boy for the last time. My Mom reminded me that we were blessed in the end because he made the decision for us. We didn't have to say "let's put him down." For that I am thankful.
I know some people are wondering what's all the fuss about? He's a dog. But so many of you know what it's like to have a pet, let alone lose a pet. He was one special dog. Sure he would bowl you over when you knocked on the door, or he might have almost bitten your child's hand off if it had food in it, or he'd even try to sit in your lap if you we're in our home, but he was so sweet adored by so many. He loved kids (he would've been the best big brother-dog and human alike). One of his favorite things was to lay in the front yard and watch the world go by, or play in the cul de sac with the neighborhood kids, following them around on their bikes. We rarely had to leash him, he just stayed within sight. Even on hikes, he would run ahead and then run back to make sure we were still coming. He loved to cuddle with us and follow me around the house as I cleaned, from one room to the other. He LOVED people, and people loved him. I could go on and on and on....
I said yesterday that Jesus probably wanted Whiskey as His buddy. Maybe. Wouldn't it be so cool to know...